The name I've chosen (85.67%Brian) came from a typical conversation that I was having with a friend of mine. It started out with the normal things and the usual question came up of "how are you doing?". Well I couldn't really come up with anything to say and I kind of stumbled and struggled for something that resembled a good answer. Finally I just looked at him after an awkward pause and said "I don't know". He replied by asking if I was all there today.
That's when I went off on a mental tangent and started wondering just how much of me really is there most of the time. Granted even though this was going on in my mind I did have enough sense to say "oh it's just one of those days" to my friend and moved on with the standard conversation until we both got bored and made excuses to say goodbye.
As soon as I was alone I began to ponder the question again. I questioned if any of us are really all there at any time. I think in most situations we do present a good portion of ourselves to others but it also depends on the situation. I know that most of us have a work person that acts and reacts in certain and filtered ways so as to seem as personable and reasonable and professional at work so others and especially those above us see us as reliable and dependable and worthy of that raise we so desire.
Then there is the friend person that gets to relax a bit and have fun and tell jokes that we know may insult some people. We imbibe in a cocktail or two and feel comfortable acting stupid or just being goofy without worrying about any serious repercussions. We pontificate with great pride in our beliefs and convictions until told to shut up and do so without anyone getting mad. We discuss touchy subjects and know that no one is going to change anyone elses mind.
Most of us probably have a family person too that, depending on your relationship with your family, we put on at gatherings. We all know this from the stories of Thanksgivings that can range from hilarious to out and out screaming and fights and even total repression of who we really are just to keep the folks happy and not have to deal with the lectures.
Lastly I think the other major person we have is the lover person. It's when you are with someone that you are in a relationship with. The one that you get naked in front of and use the bathroom in front of and feel the most comfortable with. Most of the time this is the person you are able to present most of your true self in front of and not worry about it. The times when this does not apply is when you are either brand new and still trying to impress your partner or when the end is near and you just can't stand to be around them anymore. Both require a lot of work and being on guard and trying to watch what you say. Hopefully either situation will end with you being happy around each other again.
But despite all of these variations there is a core to everyone that will not change and what really makes up what they are as a person. Your core beliefs and morals and how you treat the world around you. There is always a certain percentage of yourself that you will be willing to change or modify in some way to make things good or to make the other person happy. After much thought I figured out that the most I'm willing to give up or allow to change for any situation or person is 14.33% of myself. Maybe for someone I love I would be willing to go over 15% but they have to be really good and do the same for me. In extreme situations I will lie my ass of to actually save my ass but with any luck those times will be few. So at any given time I am presenting 85.67% of myself to the person or persons I'm with. Hence the name.
I hope this explains things and makes a bit of sense to you that are reading this. Feel free to comment or tell me I'm full of it. I'll still be basically the same after-wards.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
TITLE DESCRIPTION
Hey all or anyone that may ever stumble upon this site. I thought I'd start out with a simple (as my abilities will allow) explanation of my blog title (Insanity Tickles).
The name Insanity Tickles comes from those moments in your life when you find yourself in a moment of either an epiphany or a truly low point in your life. It's like when have had a really bad day and one incident after the other just kicks you in a weak spot and after a while that spot gets really tender. You feel beat up and like karma has just turned it's back on you. Then suddenly comes that one hit. It doesn't necessarily have to be a big hit but it's the one that breaks the proverbial camel's back and you just don't have any more room for one more.
Up until that point you have experienced everything from disgust and self pity to absolute rage but now you've run the gamut of emotions and there's nothing left but to actually laugh. It starts out as a little giggle in your mind and then it begins to form in you physically. The next thing you realize is that you are laughing and you dare not look in a mirror because you just know the look on your face will be horribly crazy and you begin to feel like you are on the verge of insanity.
The same thing can happen when you find yourself truly happy and you just can't stop yourself from smiling. Maybe you've finally got that promotion you worked so hard for or you got a great new job you've always wanted. How about when you win something or someone does something for you that puts you over the top. Then there is the ultimate good thing when you find that you've fallen in love.
Either good or bad can bring you to the point that you almost feel insane, like you're standing on a precipice and you can't believe the view and all you can do is laugh. It's then that you realize how much insanity can actually tickle.
The name Insanity Tickles comes from those moments in your life when you find yourself in a moment of either an epiphany or a truly low point in your life. It's like when have had a really bad day and one incident after the other just kicks you in a weak spot and after a while that spot gets really tender. You feel beat up and like karma has just turned it's back on you. Then suddenly comes that one hit. It doesn't necessarily have to be a big hit but it's the one that breaks the proverbial camel's back and you just don't have any more room for one more.
Up until that point you have experienced everything from disgust and self pity to absolute rage but now you've run the gamut of emotions and there's nothing left but to actually laugh. It starts out as a little giggle in your mind and then it begins to form in you physically. The next thing you realize is that you are laughing and you dare not look in a mirror because you just know the look on your face will be horribly crazy and you begin to feel like you are on the verge of insanity.
The same thing can happen when you find yourself truly happy and you just can't stop yourself from smiling. Maybe you've finally got that promotion you worked so hard for or you got a great new job you've always wanted. How about when you win something or someone does something for you that puts you over the top. Then there is the ultimate good thing when you find that you've fallen in love.
Either good or bad can bring you to the point that you almost feel insane, like you're standing on a precipice and you can't believe the view and all you can do is laugh. It's then that you realize how much insanity can actually tickle.
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